Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tubmlr, Snap Chat, We Chat, Linked in, Pinterest, Google+, Flickr, Vine, MeetUp and a slew of others vie for our attention and our loyalty. Even social media games such as FarmVille, Farmtown, and the plethora of Sims games, provide a platform for us to connect and build relationships with people around the globe.
Besides fun and our deep desire to connect, the one element that lures us to these social media communities is "Followers" and "Likes". A bonus we, at times, receive is a comment on our well or even not so well articulated post or, in the case of Instagram, edited or unedited photo. Whether we express ourselves with words, photographs or selfies, we wait for--- with Christmas like anticipation--- connection, affirmation, and acknowledgment. We want to be followed. We want to be liked. We want to feel loved and known. This seductive power that builders of social media have harnessed can, if allowed, dictate the shape of our reflection. HUH? The number of followers, likes and comments begin to form our self-perception. The more followers we have, the better we feel about who we are. As the hearts of Instagram pour in, our sense of worth rises from the depths and we are overtaken by euphoria. We may not, in our minds, describe it that way, but you have to admit that you begin to feel some elevated excitement. If I have 1.4K followers, damn! I'm good. If I only have 95, something must be wrong. Am I not articulate enough, smart enough, talented enough? What's wrong with me? No one seems to love me or what I do. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy of peoples' attention and love. Notice what happens. The feedback we receive begins to alter our self image. The "comments" and "likes" that we leave on our mind's feed start to mirror whatever social media account in which we find ourselves most engaged. We deny ourselves the double tap or thumbs up and we leave comments that leave us even more depressed. Or, the opposite can occur. Our ego can match the 2015 likes and 999 comments and 50 followers gained within the span of an hour, until of course people cease following us, don't comment as much as they once did and stop liking our photos, tweets and snapchats.
I must stop here for a brief moment and say that I am not a psychologist. I took psychology in college, but I have not the ability to crawl inside people's heads. I type this to assure you that I am not lying when I say that I am just as vulnerable to the allure of Instalove. I am constantly at brutal war with clinical depression, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder. These posts are meant to inspire not only you but myself as well. All I learn and begin to understand about the different defenses and counter attacks of this relentless enemy, I share here for you to place within your arsenal.
That personal note aside, Instalove is a blessing but also a dangerous realm of inconsistency and ultimately not the true source from which we can obtain esteem and worth. You probably can guess what I am about divulge. It is no secret that we are our own worst enemy and critic. We flood our minds with insults and disparaging thoughts and nasty comments about who we are. "I'm no good." "I failed" "I hate who I am" "I'll never be a great artist" "I really screwed that up". We give ourselves a multitude of thumbs down. We click the proverbial "unflollow" button in our minds and treat ourselves with loathsome disrespect.
All of that, unfortunately, is very easy. Just as the Dark Side of the Force was an easy path for Anakin Skywalker to follow, so is the mental dark side an easy path for the depressed to be consumed by. We pull the trigger of Instahate in our minds without a thought. It takes concerted effort to give ourselves a comment and love. In part, we have our mental disorder to blame, but also we have been trained not brag about who we are and the amazing things that we do every day. For once, don't listen to society. Brag about the beautiful person you are. Brag about the awesome poem, story, work of art, sports achievement, academic achievement, work achievement and whatever brilliant thing you do. Double tap and leave inspiring comments in that brilliant mind of yours.
You may be your worst critic, but you have----we have---the nearly untapped ability to be our best advocate and champion. Believe in the person God created you to be. Or if you don't believe in God, at least believe in the amazing person that you have grown to be. We are worth it. Love yourself. Follow yourself. Don't give in to hate, that leads to the dark side and only fuels the enemy. Depression. Depression already has a strong enough grip on our lives. Let us not lend it any more power than it already has.
Besides fun and our deep desire to connect, the one element that lures us to these social media communities is "Followers" and "Likes". A bonus we, at times, receive is a comment on our well or even not so well articulated post or, in the case of Instagram, edited or unedited photo. Whether we express ourselves with words, photographs or selfies, we wait for--- with Christmas like anticipation--- connection, affirmation, and acknowledgment. We want to be followed. We want to be liked. We want to feel loved and known. This seductive power that builders of social media have harnessed can, if allowed, dictate the shape of our reflection. HUH? The number of followers, likes and comments begin to form our self-perception. The more followers we have, the better we feel about who we are. As the hearts of Instagram pour in, our sense of worth rises from the depths and we are overtaken by euphoria. We may not, in our minds, describe it that way, but you have to admit that you begin to feel some elevated excitement. If I have 1.4K followers, damn! I'm good. If I only have 95, something must be wrong. Am I not articulate enough, smart enough, talented enough? What's wrong with me? No one seems to love me or what I do. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy of peoples' attention and love. Notice what happens. The feedback we receive begins to alter our self image. The "comments" and "likes" that we leave on our mind's feed start to mirror whatever social media account in which we find ourselves most engaged. We deny ourselves the double tap or thumbs up and we leave comments that leave us even more depressed. Or, the opposite can occur. Our ego can match the 2015 likes and 999 comments and 50 followers gained within the span of an hour, until of course people cease following us, don't comment as much as they once did and stop liking our photos, tweets and snapchats.
I must stop here for a brief moment and say that I am not a psychologist. I took psychology in college, but I have not the ability to crawl inside people's heads. I type this to assure you that I am not lying when I say that I am just as vulnerable to the allure of Instalove. I am constantly at brutal war with clinical depression, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder. These posts are meant to inspire not only you but myself as well. All I learn and begin to understand about the different defenses and counter attacks of this relentless enemy, I share here for you to place within your arsenal.
That personal note aside, Instalove is a blessing but also a dangerous realm of inconsistency and ultimately not the true source from which we can obtain esteem and worth. You probably can guess what I am about divulge. It is no secret that we are our own worst enemy and critic. We flood our minds with insults and disparaging thoughts and nasty comments about who we are. "I'm no good." "I failed" "I hate who I am" "I'll never be a great artist" "I really screwed that up". We give ourselves a multitude of thumbs down. We click the proverbial "unflollow" button in our minds and treat ourselves with loathsome disrespect.
All of that, unfortunately, is very easy. Just as the Dark Side of the Force was an easy path for Anakin Skywalker to follow, so is the mental dark side an easy path for the depressed to be consumed by. We pull the trigger of Instahate in our minds without a thought. It takes concerted effort to give ourselves a comment and love. In part, we have our mental disorder to blame, but also we have been trained not brag about who we are and the amazing things that we do every day. For once, don't listen to society. Brag about the beautiful person you are. Brag about the awesome poem, story, work of art, sports achievement, academic achievement, work achievement and whatever brilliant thing you do. Double tap and leave inspiring comments in that brilliant mind of yours.
You may be your worst critic, but you have----we have---the nearly untapped ability to be our best advocate and champion. Believe in the person God created you to be. Or if you don't believe in God, at least believe in the amazing person that you have grown to be. We are worth it. Love yourself. Follow yourself. Don't give in to hate, that leads to the dark side and only fuels the enemy. Depression. Depression already has a strong enough grip on our lives. Let us not lend it any more power than it already has.